The adventures (and non-adventures) of a marginally seasoned attorney.


Tuesday, September 23, 2014


The internet is really, really excited that fall is here. If you're feeling left out in the celebration, don't worry! I've created a step-by-step guide on taking the PERFECT fall selfie to post to Instagram so you can be a part of the party, too!

First, you've got to make sure you look don't look like total crap.

Then, you've got to put on a scarf, because it's colder outside and all. I actually couldn't find a scarf when I took this, so I wrapped a pair of yoga pants around my neck.

Next, you've got to hold a cup of coffee. It needs to be in a disposable cup so people will know that you purchased it and that it's full of cool fall stuff like pumpkin spice and ginger and red leaves and college football or whatever other fall thing you can fit in there.

Then you've got to give the camera the "scrunch your lips over to one side so you look quirky and fun" look. 

After you've got the look nailed down, you need to take it OUTSIDE. That's where fall lives, you know.

Take your picture. Then, filter the crap out of it.

Okay, this is the important part. You've got to add lots of stuff to the photo. Leaves are good. A frame is good. An inspirational word is REALLY good. I picked the word "happiness" because it's important to be happy (and also because the first time I read that script, I thought it said "flappiness"). I put it in the center so everyone knows how happy I am.

Okay, now you're ready to post your photo to Instagram! Make sure you've got a lot of hashtags so everyone can find your awesome fall selfie!

I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little disappointed that the orange notification covered up my "#bieber" hashtag.

Okay, y'all. Time to post YOUR fall instagram selfies. Put your insta account name in the comments so we can find your lovely pics!

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