The adventures (and non-adventures) of a marginally seasoned attorney.


Sunday, October 6, 2013

Why you should sponsor me to be your CrossFit athlete

CrossFitters spend a lot of money on products that they think will make them run faster, lift heavier, and hold their handstands longer (gotta have more time for a photo op, y'all). And if a product has the face of a CrossFit athlete associated with it, CrossFitters can't dig their wallet out of their lululemon pants fast enough.

I went to a competition this weekend that brought in two sponsored athletes, Camille Leblanc-Bazinet and Jenn Jones. They were freaking awesome. And though I will never be as talented as they are, I got to thinking - why can't *I* be a sponsored athlete?

I swear that I got my chin over the bar and that this
was a good rep. (Thanks for the photo, Kate Jester!)

Let it be known, CrossFit-centric companies - I would love to be YOUR sponsored athlete. Have concerns about my ability to be an appropriate brand representative? Let me ease those fears with a few reasons why I would be perfect for your brand:

1. I am super relatable - Okay, so all of the sponsored CrossFit athletes are generally in the top 1% of all CrossFitters, performance-wise. But do you know who's not in the top 1% of CrossFitters performance-wise? Every single other person in the world. And every single other person in the world buys stuff. And people enjoy buying things that people similar to them buy, otherwise cigarettes wouldn't still be a thing.

2. I LOVE pictures - There's an expectation that sponsored athletes will take pictures with the masses. I will take a picture with every single person within a 15-mile radius of a CrossFit event, and I will be very enthusiastic when I do it. See example:

Just keepin' it real with Jenn and Camille.

3. I know people - I don't mean to brag, but I've lived in four different towns in Arkansas. You've got a great head start in brand visibility.

4. I will make sure your product wins the social media war -  I will say awesome, kickass things about your product on the internet, but more importantly, I will spread nasty rumors about your competitor's product on the internet.

And last, but not least:

5. You get a built-in lawyer - I will defend you in court when you are sued for libel for spreading nasty rumors about your competitor's product on the internet.