When I saw talk of "Royals Singles Night" online, I genuinely thought that "Singles" was a reference to hitting a baseball and reaching first base. Oh, was I wrong. Singles Night is an actual promotion by the Kansas City Royals organization to match up the lonely people of the world (who also happen to be miserable because they're Royals fans).
I have no intention of attending this event. But if I did attend, I imagine the evening would be full of lines like these:
(Note: If you're not a Royals fan, don't worry; I've provided an explanation link for the Royals-specific lines. Though in my experience, the less you know about the Royals, the less miserable you are.)
|Wil Myers reference.|
|Dayton Moore reference.|
|Yuniesky Betancourt reference.|
|Country Breakfast reference.|
Good luck, everyone. Hope you don't strike out.
(Thanks to the folks who started the #RoyalsSinglesNightLines trend on twitter for the inspiration. I promise I didn't take any lines from you. At least, not *intentionally*.)