The adventures (and non-adventures) of a marginally seasoned attorney.

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Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Glutton for Punishment and the Awful, Wretched, Sucktastic, Super Lame Day

I took a Unisom so I could fall asleep last night but then it made me fall asleep while my alarm clock was going off, too, and when I got out of bed this morning I stepped on one of my high heels and by accident I had thrown my court suit in the dirty laundry hamper and I could tell it was going to be an awful, wretched, sucktastic, super lame day.

At breakfast I thought that Sonic might be a good idea and then I thought that Panera sounded delightful but then I remembered that I'm on a diet and that I'm running late for work so I don't have time to go out to eat and all I have on hand is egg beaters.

I think I'll move back to Fayetteville.

When I got to the office, I tried to call a landlord who I've been negotiating with and who promised to help out my client and I was really, really excited that we were going to work out a deal. No one even answered.

I could tell it was going to be an awful, wretched, sucktastic, super lame day.

At court the judge liked opposing counsel's motion better than my response.

At closing argument time I left out part of my argument. At ruling time the judge said we didn't prove our case by a preponderance of the evidence and we lost. Who needs a preponderance of the evidence? I could tell it was going to be an awful, wretched, sucktastic, super lame day.

I could tell because I called a client and he told me he wasn't going to listen to me anymore. He said that the judge on the TV show was right about the law and his best friend was right about the law and that I'm wrong. I hope the next time his best friend tries to give him legal advice, the stuff he prints off the internet flies out of his hands and lands in Fayetteville.

It was an awful, wretched, sucktastic, super lame day.

That's what it was, because after work I went to CrossFit and I was the only one who couldn't finish the workout of the day. Be sure to come back tomorrow because tomorrow's workout of the day is going to be even more intense, they said.

Tomorrow, I said, I'm moving to Fayetteville.

I burned the vegetables I tried to grill for dinner and I hate burned vegetables. There was great play by Johnny Damon featured on Baseball Tonight and I hate Johnny Damon.

I missed a phone call from my best friend and the call went to voicemail when I called back.

When I tried to go to bed my sheets weren't done drying so I had to wait for them to finish and then my Kindle ran out of power.

The Unisom isn't working tonight.

It has been an awful, wretched, sucktastic, super lame day.

My mom says some days are like that.

Even in Fayetteville.

1 comment:

Kimberly Schluterman said...

No way would you have had such an awful, wretched, sucktastic, super lame day if you had been in Fayetteville!