The adventures (and non-adventures) of a marginally seasoned attorney.


Wednesday, March 14, 2012


Okay, I got some strange phishing text messages sent to my cellphone today, so I called up Verizon to make sure this wasn't the result of a security breach on their end. You know what would have been comforting? Some assurance that my personal information was safe. You know what I got? A customer service rep who confessed to multiple hacking crimes.

This customer service rep - let's just call him "Thomas," because his name is Thomas - was actually a really friendly guy. I wouldn't call him the *brightest* guy, because I could've been an F-B-freakin'-I agent for all he knew. But, anyway, I told Thomas about the text messages, said why I thought that this was an issue on Verizon's end, and asked whether there had been a security breach at Verizon.

So I'll skip out the part where Thomas tries to pass the buck to anyone but Verizon. The important part is that Thomas thought this was a good opportunity to tell me about how these phishing messages really weren't a big deal because he used to hack "back in the day." And you know, whatever, but OMG DON'T TELL THAT TO A PERSON WHO IS WORRIED HER PERSONAL INFORMATION JUST GOT STOLEN OMG.

And maybe I should've just left well enough alone, but of course, I had to be all smart alecky and pretend that him telling me all of this wasn't any big deal. Apparently, my smart aleckness put me in Thomas's Circle of Trust, because then Thomas decided to tell me *even more* about his hacking history.

First of all, let me make it clear that Thomas does not hack anymore. Thomas told me that he does not have time for that stuff anymore. He also mentioned, almost as an afterthought, that you could go to jail for that now, as opposed to "back in the day" when you just got a slap on the wrist. But no sir, no hacking for Thomas anymore, HE IS TOO BUSY FOR SUCH THINGS.

However, "back in the day," Thomas did hack a bank's computer system. He did not steal any money from anybody - NO SIR, HE DID NOT! But he did add a few lines of code to the system, ya know, just to let them know he was there. So I guess it was just their little secret. Mine, too, now. And it apparently was really easy to do. But no money was taken from anyone, so it's not morally reprehensible, obviously.

But OH WAIT, there was this *one* time he hacked and got three free plane tickets. I don't know why he picked three. And I don't remember if he told me he got in trouble for that or not. But either way, it's okay because he is too busy for such things anymore.

Needless to say, I am not too happy right now. When my contract runs out with Verizon, I plan to upgrade to a phone system that will make me feel more secure than I did today. Perhaps two tin cans and a string will work.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Alternative Protest Slogans

And my personal favorite, borrowed from a friend: