The adventures (and non-adventures) of a marginally seasoned attorney.

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Sunday, October 2, 2011

Postseason Promotions

I like to be taken out to the ballgame. I like to be taken out with the crowd. I'm not the biggest fan of peanuts and Cracker Jack, but there are plenty of suitable replacements, such as nachos and the Royal'Rita. And when I can't go out to the ballgame, I'm perfectly content with watching it on TV, although heckling isn't nearly as fun when you're shouting at a screen.

Anyway, it's MLB postseason, which is my favorite time of year, despite the fact that my beloved Royals haven't made an appearance there in a while. Like any great sporting event, however, there are always ways to improve on the game experience and throw in a little more over-the-topness. So, in the spirit of improving on what is already awesome, why not adopt the following promotions in the MLB postseason?

  • Kraft Foods Sponsors Doubles - Ballparks everywhere have promotions associated with home runs. For example, you might win fried chicken or a Sonic drink if your team hits a home run in the 6th inning. And that's all well and good, but I want a prize when a double is hit, darn it. And I think this prize should be a nice, hot bowl of macaroni and cheese. Most delicious promotion EVER.
  • Fogerty Follies - MLB *loves* to show highlights, but it's seriously lacking in good ol' fashioned gag reels. Let's fix this by broadcasting bloopers on the Jumbotron. John Fogerty's "Centerfield" will be accompanying this reel, natch.
  • Bud Selig Dunking Booth - The name says it all. I'd be the first one in line. Sponsored by Miller Light.
  • Heckle the Sports Analyst - The only thing that ticks off a fan more than a bad call by an ump is a broadcaster or writer who gives a really lame analysis of the game or is *clearly* biased toward the other team. At the end of the 5th, let's just let everyone get their frustrations out. Send the analysts out to the pitchers mound, and just let everyone scream at them for a couple of minutes. See, now doesn't that feel better? Maybe if the fans can get that out of their systems at the game, they'll spend less time whining about it online.
I think these would be solid promotions. Hopefully, MLB will implement this next year, just in time for the Royals to make it back into the postseason.

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