Facebook suggested a nifty little website to one of my coworkers. It's called "Kick 'em out quick," and it claims to be an attorney network that will help you kick out your tenants and take their money. This is what the logo looks like:
Based on the logo, this is what I can gather: After you contact this vast attorney network, one of the attorneys will contact a giant. But he's not just any giant - he's a special ninja giant who can kick really high. The special ninja giant will come to the home where the naughty tenants live and KICK THE ROOF OFF THE HOUSE, which will make the tenants want to leave. And then, since the roof is no longer there, the special ninja giant can look down into the house, grab the money he sees, and hand the money over to you. You can then use that money to put the roof back on your house.
Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me. I don't understand why I can't contact the ninja giant directly, but I'm not going to question it.