The adventures (and non-adventures) of a marginally seasoned attorney.

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Thursday, June 2, 2011

June is Awareness Month

Every month we are told we need to be "aware" of something - cancer, psoriasis, termites with rheumatoid arthritis, you name it. Though these Awareness Months are supposed to be monthlong celebrations, the only way I think they are celebrated is through pamphlet distribution. Perhaps the occasional 5K race, too.

Well dang it, I for one think there needs to be a little bit more party in these Awareness Months. I've listed what we need to be aware of in June - not making these up, these are totally legit Awareness Months - and how I plan to celebrate. Oh heck yes.

  • Potty Training - Give myself an M&M treat every time I have to go to the ladies' room.
  • Dengue Fever - Throw a backyard barbecue with citronella Tiki torches. Lots of them.
  • Scleroderma - You know who promotes scleroderma awareness? BOB. FRIGGIN'. SAGET. That's who. Hellooooo Full House marathon.
  • Children - I didn't realize that some people weren't aware of children.  Guess I'll throw a party at Chuck E. Cheese and call it a day.
  • Goat Trauma - ???
  • Cancer From the Sun - Shoot, I don't want cancer from the sun! I'll spend all the time I would've spent outside in tanning beds instead.
  • Home Safety - Light a bunch of stuff on fire in my apartment to see if the smoke alarms are working.
  • False Allegations - I've got a way to celebrate False Allegation Awareness. It's called "going to court."
Party on, y'all!

1 comment:

J & M said...

goat trauma?? um... i am pretty sure this calls for a trip to the irish pub for a pint and a bit of haggis. or maybe just a pint.. ;)