Mac 'n' Cheese with a KICK!
1 box of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese
4 tbsp. Chipotle Tabasco
Follow the instructions on the box. Then add the tabasco to the macaroni. Remember - if you do anything to your meal that isn't specifically spelled out on the box, you can totally count it as your own special and unique recipe. Except this recipe, of course, because it's mine.
Glutton's BBQ Chicken Delight
1 chicken breast
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. garlic powder
1/4 c. barbecue sauce
Sprinkle the salt and garlic powder on the chicken breast. Grill the chicken breast, either in a nonstick cooking pan or - my favorite - a George Foreman grill. Grill chicken thoroughly. Let chicken cool. Taste chicken. Realize that the salt and garlic powder had the flavor equivalent of soft water. Dump barbecue sauce on chicken to make up for lack of flavor. Wish that you had gone with KC Masterpiece instead of the generic brand. Quietly suffer through dinner.
Super Mega Terrific Sandwich
Two slices of sandwich bread
Whatever is lying around in your refrigerator that hasn't expired
Put one slice of bread on a plate. Pile your non-expired food on top of the slice of bread. Place the other slice of bread on top of that. Toast sandwich in the toaster oven for two minutes. Slice in half to serve. Note: Depending on how long it's been since I've gotten a paycheck, sometimes my Super Mega Terrific Sandwich consists only of two slices of bread and a kosher pickle.
1 c. Oatmeal (The non-instant kind. Longterm oatmeal, if you will.)
2 c. Water
Put the oatmeal and water in a pot. Put the pot on the stove. Turn up the heat on the stove. Let the water/oatmeal mixture bubble for a while. Watch Good Morning America in the living room while it's cooking. Don't worry about keeping up with the time while it's cooking. Smell the scent of charred oatmeal wafting through the house. Yell "OH CRAP IT'S BURNING AGAIN" while running back into the kitchen. Remove the pot from the heat. Scoop out the non-crispy oatmeal and enjoy!
Serves 1-2, depending on how long you were watching GMA