I stay at home quite a little bit. This, of course, has nothing to do with the fact that law school has turned me into a cranky old lady who would rather sleep or sit on the couch than spend an evening out on the town. Anyway, I'm getting to experience all the fun things about life in an apartment complex. And as you know, no experience is worth having if it doesn't involve fascinating people. So let me introduce you to the fine people who've surrounded me at some point during the last two years.
Brown Paper Bag Man - Okay, the first few times I saw this guy in my old neighborhood, I was really confused. This guy would sit in his car for extended periods of time, listening to the Spanish-language radio station. And he always sipped from a brown paper bag during each of these extended stays in the car. He did this EVERY DAY. I've decided the reason he drinks in the car is because he has kids in his apartment, and he doesn't want to drink in front of them. Good for you, Brown Paper Bag Man.
The Little Drummer Boy Upstairs - So there's this guy who lives above me. He doesn't actually play the drums. But he does like to play a certain bass line very loudly at very odd hours. And I'm pretty sure it's always the same bass line. I certainly hope it keeps him as entertained as it keeps me annoyed. Pah rum pum pum pum.
The Daysleepers - Oh I MISS these guys! They lived in my old neighborhood. Such good neighbors. They played a lot of video games, and they had boxes piled up all over the place, but they were very, very quiet. My roommate and I never actually saw these guys during the day. The only reason we knew they existed is because we'd see them walk into their apartment with some Taco Bell late at night.
Willy D - Willy D's is the name of the piano bar in Fayetteville. Willy D is also the name I have given my next-door neighbor, as he received an electric keyboard for Christmas. He, just like the musicians at the piano bar, plays his keyboard into the wee hours of the night. I think he needs to learn some Journey so the neighborhood can sing along.
And last, but not least:
The Happy Meal Bandit - Hey, we all like our quarter-pounders and fries. Someone in my neighborhood, however, likes their McDonald's treats so much that they can't wait to get out of the parking lot to eat them, and they leave all the wrappers in the front lawn. There was someone like this in my old neighborhood, too - a Fudge Rounds Bandit, if you will (roommate and I think it was one of the Daysleepers). Apparently, the bandits have not been reading all the news reports on obesity in America. I sincerely hope that the Happy Meal Bandit will become a Baby Carrot Bandit one day instead.
Anyway, I should probably go introduce myself to these people. I'm willing to bet that one of these guys is going to have the cops called on him or get sued for being a nuisance. And when that time comes, he's going to need an attorney. Incidental Justice, at your service.