The adventures (and non-adventures) of a marginally seasoned attorney.

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Monday, January 4, 2010

Mighty Matt and his Super Hearing Powers

I'm on Christmas break, so I'm taking a break from writing about law school, as well.  Here's a tale from my undergrad days.

I was a dorm rat throughout most of college. Even though the rooms were tiny, and funky smells seeped out of the room of the computer science major who stayed inside all day to play video games, I kinda liked dorm life.  Not gonna lie, it pretty was nice not having to wake up until 15 minutes before class started. I'm sure no one cared that I showed up to class in pajama pants and with sheet marks across my face.

Actually, the only real problem I had with the college residential experience was dealing with the dormitory rules. Not because I could get into any kind of actual trouble for breaking said rules; I got written up nine times my freshman year for noise violations, and clearly, it did not affect my ability to graduate from college.  No, the problem was the people who tried to enforce these rules - specifically, my senior-year RA Matt.

Oh, Matt. Matt was younger than my roommate Erin and me.  He also lived right across the hall from us.  He also was on a power trip about his RA duties.  His excuse was always "Hey, I don't care what you do, I just have to enforce the rules to keep my job." Sure, Matt.

The first time Matt decided to enforce these "rules" was the week before classes started.  Erin and I moved into the dorms about a week early, and there were *maybe* 25 people in the entire dormitory during that time. And at about 10:30 p.m., Erin and I were talking. At 10:40, Matt decided to knock on our door and scold us for our naughty noisiness.  Nevermind the fact that his knocking was louder than our giggling.  And that no one had to go to class in the morning.  And that it wasn't quiet hours yet.  Anyway, Erin and I then dubbed him "Mighty Matt with his Super Hearing Powers" and decided that if he was going to make things difficult for us, we were going to make things difficult for him.

Erin and I really didn't do anything *that* mean-spirited throughout the school year.  For example, when Mighty Matt made us fill out a cheesy "roommate agreement" the first week of classes, we didn't take it entirely seriously.  And by "didn't take it entirely seriously," I mean that we filled in the blanks with silly, harmless things such as "I don't want her making out with guys in the room while I'm studying," and "We will resolve all disputes by mud wrestling." Anyway, after we turned in this "agreement" to him, Mighty Matt knocked on our door and scolded us for not writing serious things in the blanks of our agreement. He told us to write up a new one and said, "Sorry, I just have to do my job." God forbid that he'd get fired and we'd be forced to have an RA who did something other than scold his naughty residents.

Anyway, after a year of putting up with our shenanigans, Mighty Matt wound up getting the last laugh.  I moved out of my room on graduation day, and Mighty Matt came by to do a final inspection of the room to make sure I hadn't destroyed anything.  As he inspected the furniture I said "The drawers in the dresser haven't worked all year.  I turned in a complaint to maintenance, and it never got fixed."  Mighty Matt laughed.  "Yeah, I know they don't work," he said.  "That dresser was in my room when I moved in.  When I found out that it was broken, I switched it with the one on your room."

I glared at him as I stood there in my graduation cap and gown. "Thanks, Matt," I told him.  There wasn't much else I could say at that point.  And you know, it was kind of a fitting end to my days in the dorm.

I have no idea what Mighty Matt is doing right now, and I really do wish him all the best.  But if some of his furniture happens to break, I probably won't feel all that bad.

1 comment:

Leah said...

I had a much more mean-spirited RA my...sophomore year? I don't remember. What I do remember is getting written up and sent to see the probation guy because my roommate had an adult-beverage party that I did NOT attend. I still have to disclose it on law-related applications to this day.

I hope I run into her someday! I hold grudges!!