The adventures (and non-adventures) of a marginally seasoned attorney.

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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Guide to Studying for Finals

Now, you don't think I'm honestly going to give you a list that would tell you how to succeed in your classes, do you? No sir! I'd like to think my guide to studying is a lesson in how to have an enjoyable finals experience, despite the fact that law professors are evil sadists who want to make sure your misery meets its maximum potential by the time you take your exam. Remember - just because your friends don't think you're fun anymore (and you're probably not) doesn't mean that you should be stripped of all of your happiness.
  • Plan your distractions - Okay, I don't believe for a second that you're disciplined enough to study nonstop (and if you are, you're either a gunner or on law review and you need to get the hell away from my blog). If you don't plan out your procrastination, you'll be lifelessly surfing facebook instead of doing something fun. Make sure whatever you plan is something really, really great. I'd recommend having a drunken heart to heart with the person sitting next to you at the bar, throwing fruit off of your campus's parking deck, or hanging out with someone who isn't a loser.
  • Eat a variety of foods from the four food groups of finals - Fast food, nachos, chocolate, and caffeine. All part of a well-balanced diet. Eat generously. You have all of Christmas break to eat celery and go to the YMCA.
  • Embrace your inner fashion diva! - Right now, I am wearing teal and pink pajama pants, a blue and gray hoodie, brown fuzzy boots, and a red and white knit hat. I look and feel fabulous.
  • Watch as much Boston Legal as possible - Okay, maybe it's just me, but I get so dang inspired every time I see Alan Shore give a closing argument. That man is MAGIC. His mesmorizing courtroom skills always give me that extra push to do a little bit more studying, because I'll never have the opportunity to be like him if I don't graduate from law school. If you watch the show often enough, you might get to catch a Denny Crane closing. Those are great, too.
  • Try to make it a point to shower every day*** - There's nothing better to refresh your spirits than a nice, hot shower. Besides, the time you spend washing your hair is time you don't have to spend looking at some P.O.S. outline.

***I make no promises as to whether that actually happens, because if the only contact I have with people in a given day is with the skanks and drug addicts that happen to be in the Sleazy Mart down the street while I'm purchasing my Diet Coke, then showering takes a backseat to the U.C.C., or whatever other legal nonsense I'm reviewing at the time.