The adventures (and non-adventures) of a marginally seasoned attorney.

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Thursday, October 18, 2007

My Graduation is a Phone Call Away...

Shoot, I've been taking the wrong approach to this whole education thing. I got an email in my university account today that might *change my life*:

Obtain the_degree you deserve, based on your present knowledge and life experience.

A prosperous future, money earning power, and the Admiration of all.

Degrees from an Established, Prestigious, Leading Institution.

Your Degree will show exactly what you really can do.


Get the Job, Promotion, Business and Social Advancement you Desire!

Get your Bachelors,Masters,MBA, or PhD in the field of your expertise

Call now - your Graduation is a phone call away.

Please call: +1(413)376-9218



That's right, kiddos, I could be getting my degree from "an Established, Prestigious, Leading Institution." The folks who sent the email might not feel the need to tell me what this institution is, but by gosh, they capitalized every important word in that sentence, so this place must be a HUGE deal.

On top of that, it looks like I have degree options for the field of my expertise! You heard it first - I will be the pioneer of the "How to avoid any sort of serious relationship for 23 years" Ph.D or a Masters in "Rockin' out when I should be studying." And according to this email, this degree will bring me lots of money and the Admiration (that's right, it's capitalized, damn it) of all.

I'm gonna get on my phone right now and call this place. Scratch that, I'm going to email them back. Folks tend to be shady on the telephone, and I'll feel a lot more comfortable if they make more promises to me via email. After all - if it's on the Internet, it must be true.


EDIT: The person who sent this is named "Concepcion Hinkle." How cool is that?

1 comment:

JD Yates said...

Hilarity. Absolute and Pure.