The adventures (and non-adventures) of a marginally seasoned attorney.


Sunday, December 2, 2007

Silence is Golden

Recent discovery: Once you become a law student, everyone in the world who isn't a classmate of yours is capable of asking you only one question:

So, how's law school?

Yep, always asked, no matter what. Family functions, dinner with friends, running into former professors, phone calls from a guy you used to date (randomly: I have NO idea why he's calling, because it's not like we ever had anything to talk about while we actually were dating. I don't know why he thinks that 8 months later we magically have common interests).

Anyway, when first I discovered this truth, it kind of bothered me a bit. You know, I've always had a lot of interesting things going on in my life, like my music, writing, social functions, etc, but no one really asks about any of that anymore. And that kind of ticked me off when I first realized it. But then, I began to think about it a little bit... and I came to a startling realization: If anyone asked me anything other than this question, I would have nothing to tell them.

That's right, folks, yours truly is officially boring now. Wanna ask me about life estates and future interests? Go right ahead, I could spout out a dazzling answer for you. Ask me anything about my social life? I'll probably say I don't have one.

I was visiting with a friend who attends another law school the other day, and he told me "I don't want to talk about law school." Well, dang it. That just eliminated about 90% of anything I could possibly say.

So yes, this woman who used to pride herself on her conversational skills is now at a loss for words. Very strange feeling indeed. I kind of miss talking, but, I suppose I have more pressing things to do at the moment. Anyway, I guess if you wanted to get something out of reading this post, it would be this: If you want me to shut the hell up, just tell me that you don't want to talk about law school. Works every time.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

My Favorite Mistakes

I have qualities that will make me an excellent employee at any law firm: punctuality, ability to be superpolite to people who piss me off, and low stress levels (and I don't even have to take pills for that!). However, there are some flaws that will probably get me in a lot of trouble when I'm interviewing for jobs. Mark my words, I will work on these over Christmas break, and I will be a new woman next semester:

Laughing at really inappropriate times - I happen to think life is pretty amusing. Unfortunately, my amusement manifests itself at really, really unfortunate times, including but not limited to the following: church sermons, Property lectures, hook-ups, break-ups, while I'm brushing my teeth.... you name it. Imagine the horror my future employer will experience when I bust up laughing hearing that her son got hit by a truck - or something like that. Yeah, not cool.
(NOTE: This isn't really related, but a kid in my Oral Comm class started out a speech one time by saying "Have you ever had a part of your body run over by a truck?" Greatest intro EVER.)

A tendency to begin every sentence with the word "so" - So if you've read my posts, you know what I'm talking about. This isn't a fire-worthy quality, but it's probably annoying enough for me not to be invited to any business lunches.

Poor taste in clothing - Believe it or not, I do know how to dress appropriately... I just kind of prefer to not to. It'll probably get me in trouble if I'm not careful. It's gotten me in trouble before. One of the judges in negotiations competition told me I dressed like a hooker. True story.

Well, seeing that I apparently giggle too much, don't speak all that eloquently, and dress too skimpily, I think I've found my perfect job: Hooter's waitress.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Finals Preparation by the Numbers

Okay, so not only has law school has made me dull and uninspired, but you throw in finals prep, and now I'm lazy, as well. So today, you will not get a real post, just a brief glimpse of what my week has been like.
  • Days until finals: 9
  • Pages of text read: 500-ish
  • Number of commercial study aids used in studying: 4
  • Cans of Red Bull consumed: 18
  • Episodes of "To Catch a Predator" watched while I should have been studying: 3
  • YouTube videos of my favorite bands watched while I should have been studying: Too many to count
  • Dead mice found in my apartment: 0
  • Actual number of dead mice in my apartment: Probably 2
  • Humiliating moments: 1
  • Attempts at figuring out supplemental jurisdiction: Not enough, apparently
  • Pieces of good advice I gave: 7
  • Pieces of good advice my friends will actually take: 0
  • Text messages sent: 45
  • Minutes I spent typing this instead of reviewing future interests: 20 (would have been less, but I had to find another can of Red Bull and edit out the inappropriate stuff...)
So that's pretty much it. Love, nice comments, and shots of tequila are always appreciated.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Faces in the Crowd

I may be law school's slave, but rock and roll will always be my true love. I went to a fabulous concert last week, and I'm still buzzing from it. There is no way to truly describe the emotional experience one goes through while sitting through a a good show; any attempt I could make would result in a page full of rambling (not like y'all don't get that from me already...). Anyway, I got to sit near some colorful characters during the show. Here were a few of my favorites:
  • Stoned person #1 - So there were some guys trying to figure out where they were supposed to sit, and being the good person that I am (that, and they were annoying me), I was going to tell them they needed to go back a row. I look up at one of the guys, and before I can say a word, he says "Don't look at us. We're really high. Don't look at us."
  • Little old man and lady - Dude, there were some white haired folks a few rows in front of me jammin' out to the music. And I'm not talking about people who look like old rockers - these folks were of the windbreaker-wearing variety.
  • Stoned person #2 - This guy in the row in front of me turns to my friend for no apparent reason, goes "What's uuuuuup?" and then turns back around to mind his business.
  • Screaming guy - Oh, this guy was a rocker from way back, and he was reeeeeally excited about this concert. A large group of people were headed to the concert, and this guy just starts yelling "WOOOO! [Band name]! WOOO! Why aren't you all screamin'??? They ain't never gonna come back to [this city] if you all don't start screamin'!" He continued this screaming all the way to the venue and throughout the first opening act. He got dead silent after that though. Guess he didn't want the band to come back, after all.
  • Stoned person #3 - I know someone near me was lighting up because the scent would hit me every couple of minutes or so. Stoned person #3 was a sneaky kid, though - I never could figure out who he was. On a related note, once the smoke died down, I could smell a corn dog.
Anyway, like I said, rock may be my true love, but I can't ignore my duties to law school. So for now, the music takes a backseat to the world of academics. But no complaints. In the words of the great Stephen Stills, "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with." Here's to loving Law School.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

My Graduation is a Phone Call Away...

Shoot, I've been taking the wrong approach to this whole education thing. I got an email in my university account today that might *change my life*:

Obtain the_degree you deserve, based on your present knowledge and life experience.

A prosperous future, money earning power, and the Admiration of all.

Degrees from an Established, Prestigious, Leading Institution.

Your Degree will show exactly what you really can do.

Get the Job, Promotion, Business and Social Advancement you Desire!

Get your Bachelors,Masters,MBA, or PhD in the field of your expertise

Call now - your Graduation is a phone call away.

Please call: +1(413)376-9218

That's right, kiddos, I could be getting my degree from "an Established, Prestigious, Leading Institution." The folks who sent the email might not feel the need to tell me what this institution is, but by gosh, they capitalized every important word in that sentence, so this place must be a HUGE deal.

On top of that, it looks like I have degree options for the field of my expertise! You heard it first - I will be the pioneer of the "How to avoid any sort of serious relationship for 23 years" Ph.D or a Masters in "Rockin' out when I should be studying." And according to this email, this degree will bring me lots of money and the Admiration (that's right, it's capitalized, damn it) of all.

I'm gonna get on my phone right now and call this place. Scratch that, I'm going to email them back. Folks tend to be shady on the telephone, and I'll feel a lot more comfortable if they make more promises to me via email. After all - if it's on the Internet, it must be true.

EDIT: The person who sent this is named "Concepcion Hinkle." How cool is that?

Thursday, October 11, 2007

The Kindness of Strangers

So I was going to tell you this long, drawn-out story about my preparations for negotiations competition, but I think instead I'll just tell you what happened at the end of story and leave it at that.

I, all dolled up in my lawyer attire, wound up sitting in the student union with a tattooed stranger who
1) Invited me to study with him, even though I'd never met him before
2) Repeatedly called me "sweetie" (Note: I was NOT cool with that)
3) Took a great interest in whether I drank and how old I was
4) Kept on trying to offer me the Jack and Coke he had stashed in a pop bottle
5) Chugged said Jack and Coke while grading essays for an intro-level class he taught


Anyway, after the negotiations were all was said and done, things didn't go too shabbily. No regrets about how things played out. We got a lot of good advice from the judges. I know I'm strong in certain areas, I know what my weaknesses are, and I know what I'll do different next time. That being said, I'll probably stick to my guns about not accepting offers of Jack and Coke from random guys in the student union. I know better than to take candy from strangers.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Career Options

It's a mighty good thing I don't hate law school yet. If this gig doesn't work out, I really don't have that many other career options. There actually was one point last week when I thought that maybe law school wasn't for me, but then I thought about what I would be doing if I weren't here...

  • Journalist - I technically am qualified for this job, but somehow, in my quest for writing unbiased news stories, I write favorably toward the side I disagree with. My biggest fear is that I would get angry reading some right-wing blabber in the newspaper one day and then remember I was the one who wrote the dang piece.
  • Housewife - Well, see, there are a couple of problems with this one. If I were to be a housewife, we'd have to be working on the assumptions that a) I want to be married right now and b) I'm good at cooking and cleaning. Ain't gonna happen.
  • Grad School Student - As much hell as it can be to brief cases all the livelong day, at least I'm not writing a master's thesis right now. And that pretty much tickles me to death.
So yeah, I should stay in law school. I suppose if things go horribly wrong, I could move to Atlanta and be the starting QB for the Falcons. I hear there's an opening for the job.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Greek Life, Part 2

First impression of law school? It's a sorority minus all the poofed hair. Orientation week just ended, and seriously, I haven't heard this kind of rhetoric since I first joined a Greek organization.

Most of the speakers during the course of orientation were saying things along the lines of, "Oh, you'll make so many lifelong friendships," and "This will be a great bonding experience," blah, blah. And you know, I remember these exact same speeches from undergrad - they were the sisterhood talks. We'd be sisters for life, and no, we didn't go to college to find a husband, we came to college to find our bridesmaids (actually, I went to college because I wanted to be a political communications director, but that's beside the point). Although, none of the law speakers told us to treasure the time we have in school. I guess they know we're not that gullible.

But no! It wasn't all fun and games - after all of that friendship stuff, the orientation speaker would make a comment along the lines of how much work law school is going to be and how we might want to quit sometimes. And that was pretty much correct, because at 11 that night, I was doing my homework and finally figured out that I didn't know what the hell I was doing.

But you know, I hated sorority rush more than anything, and I got through that just fine. If I can handle talking to a bunch of bitchy girls who weren't going to join my house anyway, I can handle briefing a few cases. Maybe the law school should throw some Coke dates or crush functions into the mix just to make sure we stick with it.